LOL... Well, I'm in the Show Me State, so I get that! Glad to make it simple for you. Please let us know if there is anything you have a question about.
One added piece of advice though that I forgot to mention. Never get water in the crown of the plant, the area at the top where the leaves come out. If water gets in there, get it out and put a fan on it. Phals are extremely susceptible to crown rot, which kill it.
Hi Donna,
Welcome to a really great place to learn about orchids. It's funny because the reason I got involved with orchids is because a friend of mine gave me an 'add ice' orchid as a housewarming present. Well that 'add ice' orchid just happened to stay in bloom for almost 3 months and I was hooked! Of course I decided adding ice to a tropical plant seemed counter-productive and started researching the proper way to care for a Phal on the internet. I am now the proud owner of 19 different orchids but have sadly lost some along the way. My best advice to you is follow Paul's excellent advice and never, never add ice!
Good luck,
Pam