I had to read this one out loud to the family at the dinner table. What a great story!
I don't want to rain on the hilarity, but I have to add a word of caution to you, because it doesn't feel right for me not to do so. I would advise you to hire a professional and have the offending rodents trapped, do not use poisons or baits.
Just over a year ago, my 2 year old Labrador, that I had raised from a young pup of 8 weeks old, died suddenly. He was the picture of health. My vet was convinced that someone had fed him warfarin and we'd had a recent incident where someone had been tossing meatballs loaded with rat poison into the yards of known dog owners, so we reported it. It didn't take long to find out that my next door neighbors had put down commercial grade rat bait, which was mostly warfarin, in their garage to control mice and Mugen had been catching the mice in his own yard and was swallowing them whole. The rodents eat way more of the bait than is required to kill them. The amount they eat is usually more than enough to kill an 80 pound dog.
