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  #1  
Old 03-11-2015, 03:25 PM
astrid astrid is offline
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&quot;Naughty&quot; orchids? Orchids that make us chuckle due to their funny shapes! Female
Default "Naughty" orchids? Orchids that make us chuckle due to their funny shapes!

Dear mods, if this post is too risqué for our forum, please remove it! Deepest apologies if it is. I mean this only for a laugh and out of my curiosity!

Long ago when orchids were being named, they were named for their twin tubers which resembled - yep - they resembled testicles to the people who decided to name them! In Latin, "orchis" or in Greek, "orkhis" both mean "testicle" (source). Knowing this, one might wonder if perhaps Jack White's song lyric, "You took a white orchid and turned it blue," is not actually complaining about companies who dye orchids blue and sell them at a premium price, but rather something that hits a little closer to home... (NSFW source)

This is particularly obvious in the scientific illustrations of Orchis mascula:


and Orchis ustulatus:


So the family name of our beloved plants is already amusingly chosen. The Orchidaceae family is named due to a somewhat hilarious association, and it just gets weirder from there.

Take, for instance, Orchis italica, or the "man orchid."
These little orchids look like an army of streakers prancing about in the buff, down to the last detail it seems.


Let's not forget the O'Keefeian association of flowers with female genitalia. Some feminists claim the orchid as a symbol of femininity in the most literal way. Images of cattleyas and phalaenopsis orchids may tend to come to mind with this association. In fact, a google image search along these lines will yield some pretty creative (and definitely NSFW) art pieces and jewelry.

Or what about how funny some paphiopedilums look as they are wilting? The wrinkly lip sure begins to look like an orchis if I ever saw one!!

Other living beings find certain similarities between orchids and the things they know. Some orchids have evolved to appear as potential mates for certain bees and wasps, taking things a step beyond mimicking pheromones. The lip of the orchid looks like a pretty, pretty bee lady and the male bee tries to carry out his biological reproductive functions. He receives no benefit, yet the orchid is pollinated. (source)
Ophrys apifera

So, everyone, are there other orchids which have taken on amusing or uncanny likenesses?
Are there some orchids that you look at and simply cannot help but giggle? If you have some photos or mentions, please share! Also, please keep this lighthearted and SFW (safe for work).

Further reading (which is far less jokey and substantially more NSFW for a few pages, while remaining academic in nature): The Seductive Orchid: A Look Into the Justifications and Motivations behind the Illicit Flora Economy by Ardea Smith. This also discusses the lengths people go to when trying to obtain new orchid species in the wild, and the consequences of such behavior.

Again, I don't mean this post to be crude, overtly vulgar, or offensive, but rather in a comical and informative manner! I truly do not wish to offend anyone!
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Old 03-11-2015, 03:32 PM
ddivey36 ddivey36 is offline
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&quot;Naughty&quot; orchids? Orchids that make us chuckle due to their funny shapes! Female
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Maybe that is why orchids are addictive???? just saying....
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Old 03-11-2015, 03:35 PM
astrid astrid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ddivey36 View Post
Maybe that is why orchids are addictive???? just saying....
If you read the article I listed at the end of my post, you'll read about some victorian-era highly risqué associations with orchids. Apparently some men didn't even want women to look at rare orchids because they were just too sexual to be seen. Oh our beloved flowers sure have an interesting history. Such drama over such innocent and unassuming little flowers!!
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Old 03-12-2015, 05:49 AM
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Epidendrum neoporpax, anyone?
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Old 03-12-2015, 12:50 PM
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Tindomul Tindomul is offline
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Great work putting this together. That last one Neoporpax, I have never seen that before.

By the way, just to step it up a level, the term for what happens with the bees and the bee orchid is Pseudocopulation.
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Old 03-12-2015, 01:28 PM
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The French common name of Orchis italica is either the Naked man orchid, or naked hangman orchid. I always found that hilarious.

All of those terrestrials are European, I wonder what that says about us! :P

Check out Orchis simia (the monkey orchid), which is basically another naked man orchid. This photo is funny, looks like a naked man flexing his biceps... Orchis simia
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Old 03-12-2015, 05:23 PM
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There's also epidendrum coriifolum, which looks like something familiar:


And in the same google image search, I found this orchid. I am not sure if it is the same one, as it is called Epidendrum magnibracteatum, but is also called coriifolum. Anyway, it looks like a demented clown:


Both of these are pretty hilarious.

---------- Post added at 01:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:39 PM ----------

Then, of course, we just have other hilarious orchids like the Red Beard orchid, or calochilus paludosus:


And of course, there's this guy! Our very own Tommymiami grew this one, and it's called Sigmatostalix cuculligera:

(link to post: http://www.orchidboard.com/community...culligera.html )

Along the way in all my searching, I also found this totally bizarre orchid called Bipinnula canisii (or bipinnula montana??):

(link to wikipedia page: Category:Bipinnula montana - Wikimedia Commons )

Ah well. I'd better stop working on this thread because now I am just getting too imaginative with these orchids! If any of you have other "naughty" or just plain ol' amusing-looking orchids to share, please do!!
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Old 03-12-2015, 06:28 PM
TOMMYMIAMI TOMMYMIAMI is offline
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I would definitely mentioned naked man orchid (Orchis), but it is already here. I just think, that there is one MUST, Coryanthes, don't tell me you see anything else than what you really see:-)))
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Old 03-12-2015, 06:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TOMMYMIAMI View Post
I would definitely mentioned naked man orchid (Orchis), but it is already here. I just think, that there is one MUST, Coryanthes, don't tell me you see anything else than what you really see:-)))
Oh wow! Those gave me a good laugh!! They're amazing and chuckle-inducing from every angle! I've seen some Coryanthes (or similar orchids) that look like monkey butts as well. Red and angry looking, haha!!

Wow, thanks for those!
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TOMMYMIAMI View Post
I would definitely mentioned naked man orchid (Orchis), but it is already here. I just think, that there is one MUST, Coryanthes, don't tell me you see anything else than what you really see:-)))
Oh my!!!! What a naughty orchid!
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