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Old 10-26-2008, 03:18 AM
Des Des is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Port Elizabeth
Age: 77
Posts: 898
Default SHOW TIME HUMOR

Doing duty in the sales area at our show can be daunting, having to answer the same questions from the public over and over can lead to automated replies, but it is not without its humorous moments.
A group of ladies came in yesterday and the youngest of them was chatting to me about growing orchids, when she asked me what I did for a living. My reply was that I was retired, and to be polite, I asked what she did. She replied "I have the oldest profession in the world!" My automatic reply of "that's good, do you enjoy your work", froze in my throat and a thought flashed through my mind "Hey, you don't say that to hookers!!" This slip of a girl had knocked the wind out of my sails and for once I was at a loss for words. She must have seen the look on my face because she quickly added "I shoe horses." Before I could say to her "Lady, that is the second oldest profession," her friends grabbed her by the arm and whisked her away. Emblazoned on the back of her tee shirt was an advert for a saddlery!

After a particularly grueling day of repeatedly having to tell folks the dosage of fertilizer, calcium nitrate and epsom salts, I must have said ONE TEASPOON TO FIVE LITRES a thousand times. The dosage is printed on the container, but folks want to hear it from the horse's mouth. Until one little old lady, with a tub of snail pellets in her hand, asked a question no-one had asked before "Young man" she said "How do you apply these snail pellets?" My response was "One pellet per snail, madam."
I hadn't realized what I had said until I saw our cashier rolling on the ground laughing!
I still have visions of this little old lady with a snail pellet between thumb and forefinger trying to feed it to the snail!
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