Okay Ross, After a one hour discussion over dinner with my old Photography teacher, who also happens to be my husband. Who graciously drew pictures and everything to demonstrate fstop and aperture setting...I believe you both!
However, I am never going to be a tripod girl...just can't do it. I try and it feels like I'm shooting with my hands behind my back
so, I'll leave all the expert shooting to those who know best.
I did however shoot a whole series of the flower and here is one that I took at f16.
Thanks for all the great advice and I will certainly keep you in mind when I am shooting