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  #1  
Old 01-07-2008, 10:39 PM
flhiker flhiker is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Zone: 10b
Location: South Florida
Posts: 3,667
Default How many are you quilty of?

Why, Why, Why

do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?



Why
do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?



Why
does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?



Why
doesn't glue stick to the bottle?




Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?



Why
does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?



Why do Kamikaze pilots we ar helmets?



Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?




Why
is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?



Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?



Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?



Why
do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?



Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?



How
do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?



When
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all r ight, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'


Why
is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?



In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?



How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?



And
my FAVORITE......


The
statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
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  #2  
Old 01-08-2008, 01:23 AM
snow snow is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Zone: 3a
Member of:none
Location: winnipeg
Posts: 2,013
Default

that.s sure funny stuff dave, and i must admit that i have done some of those things myself for example, 'the string and the vacuum cleaner''
well i better not admit to the last one!!
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  #3  
Old 01-08-2008, 12:46 PM
Tindomul's Avatar
Tindomul Tindomul is offline
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Join Date: May 2005
Zone: 7b
Location: Queens, NY, & Madison County NC, US
Age: 44
Posts: 19,374
Default

Guilty...guilty...guilty. LOL, that was too funny. Only one problem. How do I break it to my friends that I am the insane one?
__________________
"We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?"

Goblin Market
by Christina Georgina Rossetti
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  #4  
Old 01-08-2008, 06:47 PM
Dorothy Dorothy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Zone: 7b
Location: Long Island, NY
Age: 63
Posts: 7,321
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Very gently
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  #5  
Old 01-08-2008, 07:36 PM
DebsC DebsC is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 1,773
Default

I'm keeping it a secret from my friends.
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  #6  
Old 01-08-2008, 08:14 PM
Gin's Avatar
Gin Gin is offline
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Join Date: May 2006
Zone: 5b
Location: So. Mo.
Posts: 3,324
Default

I'll never tell gin
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  #7  
Old 01-08-2008, 09:30 PM
GreggC GreggC is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Zone: 5a
Location: Springfield, Illinois
Posts: 800
How many are you quilty of? Male
Default flhiker-an oldie, but a goodie

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