Anyone here childfree?

[greengarden]

But you know what Plantteeth, if you stepped up and raised her right and are doing the best you can to instil good values, etc in her then you must have been atleast fairly well prepared. Which is more than many who are a a lot older do!



Anyway, sorry gardengirl, I didn't really mean to turn my last post into a full sized rant LOL, I feel like I derailed things slightly. Was just trying to say that if you are confident and happy with the decisions you have made in your life then screw the judgment.

[gardengirl13]

Originally Posted by PlantTeeth

Yeah, without her I would have had a better job, a degree, a house, a dog, and stuff....but stuff happens, and once it happens you just have to accept it and keep living.

Even without a child I don't have a better job, a college degree (well I have an associates), a house or a dog (allergic that's besides the point! ha ha!) For me it's not about material things. It's not about who you can impress with your doctorate or how you can brag about your job, your income or your portfolio. It's about your experiences. That's what life is. When people ask the purpose of life. I tell them it's what you experience. How you live, how you love, how you treat others. Your life is all about that. How you love your friends, family and yes even strangers on the street. How you treat everyone. What you do.

I'm losing my job soon. Probably by the end of next month. My health has really dragged me down lately. I have trouble doing anything. I can't sit or stand for more then 15-20 minutes. I need help shopping because I can't pick up anything heavier then a gallon of milk. But I can laugh at myself while doing it! I've learned to change my life to fit what I think is a very unconventional life. No I'm not in a wheelchair, and yes I can still walk, just not very far and on bad days I use a cane. But I can still do stuff. I can still draw and paint and take photos. I can still take care of my orchids. It's how I've changed my ideas of how to experience this "new" life. How I accept these changes and roll with the punches.

For some having kids is a life dream. For others it's not. Each of us has an ideal life, and if that doesn't happen, and really ideal NEVER happens! We can still life the best life we can. We can be happy with what we chose, or even what is chosen for us if needed. The key to life is be like a branch, bend with the wind or else you'll break. And experience everything you want. don't wait. We planned on taking our 15th anniversary and go nuts. We were going to travel all over for 3 whole months. Now I can't even go visit family 2 hours away. I wish we had done it when we were young. But that doesn't get me down as much as it used to. Because I'm happy with who I am and what I do.

If having one kid or so many you need a bus makes you happy and you can do it, go for it! If having a cat instead of a child makes you happy then do that. If not getting married makes you happy then don't. Do what your life is meant for and you'll be happy. Even if it's only in your dreams. Enjoy those dreams with all your heart!

[PlantTeeth]

I can say my bf was/is upset about our situation more than me. He had actual life goals he wanted to accomplish & many places he wanted to go. And things he wanted to do before having kids.

I guess I wanted all that too, but I never made plans to make my goals happen. I was a floater. Just enjoying the breeze. And taking it day by day. Never saying, "you're getting your degree at this time, and then moving here, and then seeing these places." And I think I was/am like that still because when I was younger I got to visit many out of state places because my mom was in the military & she'd fly me where she was. I lived with my dad & stepmom (both who'd be well of if they knew how to manage $ properly) and I was pretty comfortable & we had money to take family vacactions.

My bf is from a poor family. And never had "nice" things. And he hated me because I got everything without asking & he felt I didn't really see its value. His first job (and others after) was just to help support himself & his mother (who is a whole 'nother mess).

I honestly never wanted kids and my eventual goal was to move to New Mexico & live in the desert. Lol And once I was established there, adopt a kid. And that's how I was gonna get my own family.

I know people judge me for having a kid (Sh*t my very own family does) but I just keep trucking & doing my own thing & find peace in whatever I do. (Mostly reading. )

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