Anyone here childfree?

[isurus79]

Originally Posted by Pilot

We have one kid...daughter named Anna. We tried for a long time and have up but not after serious mental anguish on my wife's side. She was so upset not to bear any children. But she managed to get past it. Went to a party, got rip roaring tanked and tadaaaa! Nine months later I greeted Anna to the world. Worked for some girls in my high school class and looks like it worked for us too!

[Oscarman]

Child free by choice or not is a personal issue between a couple. It is no one else's place to judge their path in life.

My wife and I were together nearly 20 years without kids. Enjoying all that we wished in life, doing things at the drop of a hat, travelling as we choose. Through those years we faced many puzzled and insistent people that could not understand why we wouldn't want kids. Many didn't consider that the time was not right for us. This was especially hard as our circle of friends all married and started families while we continued on in our lifestyle!

Nine years ago, now both with well established careers we choose to try for kids and have been blessed with two wonderful girls. Wouldn't change it in any way. Had there been a different outcome, we believed that we would be ok. Our hearts go out to those who wished to and cannot. We have several friends who for one reason or another do not have children. Some have choosen to share their story with us and others not. Either way friendship is about support not judgement.

Becoming a parent needs to be considered with the deepest of seriousness. Raising a child is a monumental task. Being able to have a baby is a miracle. A precious gift which we should be thankful for receiving, and it should be cherished for the rest of our lives.

[terracotta7]

I have three wonderful children and they are my pride and joy. On my husband's side of the family he has a sister and her husband who have no kids by choice and a brother and his wife who have no kids despite years of yearning. I am truly blessed that both these couples love my children so much and they have given them so many opportunities that my husband and I could not: trips to different places, concerts, hikes, music, art, rollercoasters (that I DO NOT have the stomach for!) I can not tell you how much these couples have enriched my children's lives.
I would never judge someone's decision because it is so incredibly personal. I just like to find the good and encouraging in whatever situation there is. There is altogether too much drama and negativity in this old world to add to it.

I agree with Oscarman. Children are a precious gift and choosing to bring a life into this world is a serious decision.

[gardengirl13]

Originally Posted by isurus79

That being said, I've met many couples who have decided not to have kids. My only issue with them not having kids is that every single one of them are VERY intelligent, hard working people. They are the very types of people whose DNA should be passed on to future generations!! lol It seems like the smart people aren't breeding and the dummies are breeding like rabbits!!!

You can not believe how many times I've been told this!! ha ha! My landlord is a big one. His favorite things to say to us when kids come up (luckily not so often anymore) is "you two are so smart and hard working and such great people! you two should be the ones having kids not these idiots out there!" I must also mention he's 92 years old!!

My husband is almost done with his second masters (both graduated with a 4.0). We both work for an academic library. Money is an issue due to my health since my employer is trying to get me to leave and go out on disability. We're trying to pay down as much of our student loans as possible and the car by the time I have to leave. My husband is in a band (which even with this snow he has a gig tonight!) which keeps hims busy too. I have my orchids and photography, painting and drawing and other things. We can't travel due to my health though which is one thing that bothers both of us. But we do local day trips and make the most of it.

As for being THE most awesome aunt and uncle, yup that's us! His brother doesn't have kids, but my sister has two. We take my niece all over! We've taken her to NYC, to museums, we live in an area that has wonderful historic mansions and other scenic things to do. We've gotten her hooked on reading, my husband read Poe to her when she visited near Halloween and now she tries to write poetry! She's so cute! The boy is still fun, man does he have some serious energy! I never grew up around boys so he's a bit overwhelming for me due to my health, but he's still a lot of fun! My niece has been able to spend weekends with us since she was 18 months, him on the other hand has only been able to do that the last year or so when he turned 7 he's been doing better with being away from home. We can, currently, afford to buy them school clothes, sneakers, books, games, take them places etc... things my sister can't afford to. Even the time we spend with them means so much to the kids. My niece just loves sitting on our deck reading with us. She can do it for hours! it's wonderful!

But that aside, it's also wonderful to be able to send them home! ha ha!!

[Vanda lover]

My brother doesn't have kids and when someone asks him Do you have any kids, he say "no, but people are always offering my theirs"
For one thing, the world is over populated.
For another, people shouldn't have kids unless they are willing and able to care for them. As one of a family of 7, I can honestly say that no one should ever have that many children. They are too expensive and too hard to keep track of.

[isurus79]

Originally Posted by gardengirl13

As for being THE most awesome aunt and uncle, yup that's us! His brother doesn't have kids, but my sister has two. We take my niece all over! We've taken her to NYC, to museums, we live in an area that has wonderful historic mansions and other scenic things to do. We've gotten her hooked on reading, my husband read Poe to her when she visited near Halloween and now she tries to write poetry! She's so cute! The boy is still fun, man does he have some serious energy! I never grew up around boys so he's a bit overwhelming for me due to my health, but he's still a lot of fun! My niece has been able to spend weekends with us since she was 18 months, him on the other hand has only been able to do that the last year or so when he turned 7 he's been doing better with being away from home. We can, currently, afford to buy them school clothes, sneakers, books, games, take them places etc... things my sister can't afford to. Even the time we spend with them means so much to the kids. My niece just loves sitting on our deck reading with us. She can do it for hours! it's wonderful!

But that aside, it's also wonderful to be able to send them home! ha ha!!

Sounds like a pretty good family unit to me! Helping raise your siblings kids is another way to get your family's DNA into the world, so all is not lost!

[bballr4567]

Nope, no kids here either. We've been together for 5 years and people constantly ask when/if we are having kids. Neither one of us have a career right now so it literally makes sense to NOT have a child unlike so many of my friends who have only one parent working and struggle but then decide to have another one. I dont and will never understand that.

[fishmommy]

no kids here. husband and I both have health issues that made it seem like a less great idea.

[escualida]

Originally Posted by isurus79

My only issue with them not having kids is that every single one of them are VERY intelligent, hard working people. They are the very types of people whose DNA should be passed on to future generations!! lol It seems like the smart people aren't breeding and the dummies are breeding like rabbits!!!

Anyone here seen the movie Idiocracy? It's a really silly comedy about how in the future humans will be really dumb for this reason. It's a little terrifying lol.

I think it's such a brave decision to not have kids for the reasons you guys have already stated. It's not seen as a positive thing and others can be really judgmental about it. But honestly I feel like it's the complete opposite of selfish. I think some people decide to have kids for the simple reason of having a little mini-them walking around and to live vicariously through their children. And others do it to fill some kind of void or even to save a marriage. None of those are good reasons to have children, especially if you're not going to give them everything they need. So kudos to you on realizing that you don't need kids to be fulfilled and that it's just not the right thing for you.

I haven't found the right person yet and go back and forth on whether I want to have kids or not. There are so many horrible things happening in the world sometimes I feel like it wouldn't be fair to bring another life into it, there are so many things that can go wrong. So maybe I would just adopt and give an already living soul an opportunity that they might not otherwise have instead of making more new people just because they'll share my DNA. I don't know.

I'm so sorry you get crap from people who want to impose their own life decisions on you, that really shouldn't be the case. Maybe next time you get asked why you don't have kids by someone who does, you can say "well that's one less person that your child will have to compete with for college, work, a mate, etc." lol maybe that will shut them up.

[isurus79]

Originally Posted by escualida

Anyone here seen the movie Idiocracy? It's a really silly comedy about how in the future humans will be really dumb for this reason. It's a little terrifying lol.

Yes!! Its terrifying because its true!!