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12-05-2013, 07:05 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: May 2008
Zone: 9a
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 26,634
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paphluvr
One morning on the way to work I had a bird hit the windshield. Blood, guts and feathers were everywhere and the carcass was stuck under the windshield wiper. I decided to turn on the wipers and washers in the hope of clearing the windshield and getting rid of the body of the bird. My idea worked, but unfortunately the body flew over the top of my car and hit the windshield of a police car traveling behind me.
The cop pulled me over and gave me a ticket.......
for flipping him the bird!
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*groan*
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Post Thanks / Like - 1 Likes
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12-09-2013, 08:58 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Clearwater, Florida
Posts: 83
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I guess I should try and revive this thread...
I was walking out of a bar, very drunk indeed. I saw two enormously fat ladies talking on the sidewalk outside. They both had strong accents. So I went up to them and asked, "Are you two ladies from England?" One turned around and yelled, "It's Wales!" so I said, "Ok, are you two whales from England?"
And that's the last thing I remember...
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Post Thanks / Like - 2 Likes
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12-10-2013, 03:59 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Clearwater, Florida
Posts: 83
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Anyone? No one? Ok...
My husband came up to me today and said, "I've been thinking, I'm the man of this house, and you should respect that. So the second I walk through the door I expect the house to be spotless and a hot dinner to be waiting. Then I want you to bring my my robe and the newspaper, and run my bath. After that, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
I smiled slightly and answered his completely obvious question.
"Why, the funeral home of course."
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Post Thanks / Like - 7 Likes
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09-17-2015, 10:42 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Colombo
Posts: 653
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09-18-2015, 06:46 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Zone: 8a
Location: West Midlands, UK
Age: 49
Posts: 25,462
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thakshila smith
I miss so much our cb977 ! Didn't here from her for a longer time.
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I've heard from her regularly on facebook. She's doing well and still has orchids but spends less time on them than in the past.
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10-10-2015, 10:49 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Bucharest, Romania
Posts: 489
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phal-lover
Anyone? No one? Ok...
My husband came up to me today and said, "I've been thinking, I'm the man of this house, and you should respect that. So the second I walk through the door I expect the house to be spotless and a hot dinner to be waiting. Then I want you to bring my my robe and the newspaper, and run my bath. After that, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
I smiled slightly and answered his completely obvious question.
"Why, the funeral home of course."
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Very good!
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04-15-2016, 07:47 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 466
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Two cats looking at a statue in a park and one cat says to the other. He is my hero I once saw him take 43 hit in a row from a spray bottle to the face and he did not even flinch.
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Post Thanks / Like - 3 Likes
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09-19-2016, 07:30 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Zone: 9b
Location: Phoenix AZ - Lower Sonoran Desert
Posts: 18,690
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I got a mailer for what looks like a really good memory care home. I put it aside to read later, but I can't find it.
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09-21-2016, 01:08 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Zone: 4a
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 8,344
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There funny. I don't think I have ever read this thread before.
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09-21-2016, 01:50 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Zone: 10a
Location: Abrantes
Posts: 5,540
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I, as the male of the house, always have the last word in every issue: "Yes, my dear! Yes, my dear!"
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Post Thanks / Like - 2 Likes
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