The joke thread - Page 77 - Orchid Board

OrchidSue · #**761** 02-08-2010, 03:53 PM

Just thought this was funny. For the record the only political ill will I have is for the system in general and wholeheartedly advocate making fun of anyone

.

Susan

Des · #**762** 02-08-2010, 04:27 PM

This could be a solution to our problems here

IdahoOrchid · #**763** 02-10-2010, 10:53 PM

Bible and a Haircut

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son.

"You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment decided and he settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you havebeen studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair."

His father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

Des · #**764** 02-11-2010, 12:35 AM

Yip , when I was a boy the only way to get anywhere was also per shanks pony

jeffg · #**765** 02-11-2010, 10:02 AM

What's Irish and sits in the sun all day?

Patio Furniture

Hedge · #**766** 02-12-2010, 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeffg

What's Irish and sits in the sun all day?

Patio Furniture

Sorry Jeff, we've had that one already

but it still makes me laugh.

jeffg · #**767** 02-12-2010, 09:35 AM

Whoops, I only made it through some of the 75 pages of posts - must not have seen it. My bad. When I fist saw the post, I thought it was orchid jokes. Has that thread ever been launched?

Des · #**768** 02-12-2010, 02:47 PM

Wish it was a joke: Sipho, driving the latest BMW, was pulled over by a Gauteng policeman at a roadblock. ‘Congratulations', said the cop...'Because you are wearing your seat belt you have just won $5000 in an Arrive Alive safety competition'. Sipho could hardly believe his luck. ‘What are you going to do with your cash?' asked the traffic cop. ‘Well I guess I'm going to get a driver's license,' Sipho answered. ‘Oh, don't listen to him,' yelled Dipuo in the passenger seat. 'He tries to be smart when he's drunk.' This woke up Ndlovu in the back seat who took one look at the cop and moaned, 'I TOLD you stealing the BMW was a bad idea. A Mazda would have been better.' At that moment there was a knock from the boot and Zakeles' voice said,'Are we over the border yet?' The cop said .... 'Okay, my brothers. How are we sharing this $5000?!'

trdyl · #**769** 02-12-2010, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Des

Wish it was a joke: Sipho, driving the latest BMW, was pulled over by a Gauteng policeman at a roadblock. ‘Congratulations', said the cop...'Because you are wearing your seat belt you have just won $5000 in an Arrive Alive safety competition'. Sipho could hardly believe his luck. ‘What are you going to do with your cash?' asked the traffic cop. ‘Well I guess I'm going to get a driver's license,' Sipho answered. ‘Oh, don't listen to him,' yelled Dipuo in the passenger seat. 'He tries to be smart when he's drunk.' This woke up Ndlovu in the back seat who took one look at the cop and moaned, 'I TOLD you stealing the BMW was a bad idea. A Mazda would have been better.' At that moment there was a knock from the boot and Zakeles' voice said,'Are we over the border yet?' The cop said .... 'Okay, my brothers. How are we sharing this $5000?!'

Oh my goodness. What a mess that was.

Roy · #**770** 02-12-2010, 10:16 PM

I urgently needed a few
days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days
off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and
give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and
asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a
couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you
think you're going?!'
She said, 'I'm going home, too.
I can't work in the dark.'