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  #581  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:32 AM
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cb977 cb977 is offline
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This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you
remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK, he says, 'How about taking a stroll around
there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,"Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence"

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  #582  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:35 AM
Bird Song Farm Bird Song Farm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreggC View Post
A dyslexic man walks into a bra..............
and is smothered to death.......

Al
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  #583  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:49 AM
Dorothy Dorothy is offline
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  #584  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:58 AM
GreggC GreggC is offline
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The joke thread Male
Default Another.....

An invisible man and an invisible woman get married. Their kids were nothing to look at either.
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  #585  
Old 02-17-2009, 09:06 AM
Dorothy Dorothy is offline
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  #586  
Old 02-17-2009, 09:28 AM
Dorothy Dorothy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
Good to have you back, Dorothy I missed your sence of humor
Thank you Des .. it's great being back
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  #587  
Old 02-17-2009, 06:03 PM
flhiker flhiker is offline
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A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
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  #588  
Old 02-17-2009, 06:25 PM
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  #589  
Old 02-17-2009, 06:36 PM
flhiker flhiker is offline
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
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  #590  
Old 02-17-2009, 06:59 PM
IdahoOrchid IdahoOrchid is offline
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Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to

feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured
maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time
they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived,
so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.


A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
he said, 'For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?'

Bill replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail?' cried Sam. 'What in the world for?'

'Well,' Bill said, 'you know Mary, that cute little blonde
waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'


'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.
'
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