The joke thread - Page 58 - Orchid Board

Bird Song Farm · #**571** 02-15-2009, 02:12 PM

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asketh the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in Maine."

thakshila smith · #**572** 02-17-2009, 05:30 AM

Its about a kitten .I presented a kitten to my neighbor. Its a tabby . That the mistake I did. We were very kind to her and she knew it.
Every day she came here for lunch and we didn't refuse.
She slept on our sofa.
She became pregnant and we didn't stop providing meals . She came here for kitten birth and
My husband send her to owners .
She gave birth to a nice kitten and lived there and visited us every day .(quite true)
After some time she was pregnant again. We closed all our windows and she couldn't approach here . She was aiming to peep inside for three days but failed .That day my husband was not at home and I had no heart to throw her out.
We prepared a place for her and her kitten was borne here . Now she never goes to owners or see her first kitten.

Motto : Never present a kitten to your neighbors.

Dorothy · #**573** 02-17-2009, 07:19 AM

A carrot crosses the road, gets hit by a car and is rushed to the ER .. The doctor says I have good new and bad news .. The good news is .. you are going to live .. the bad news is .. you'll be a vegetable the rest of your life ...

playtime8978 · #**574** 02-17-2009, 07:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorothy

A carrot crosses the road, gets hit by a car and is rushed to the ER .. The doctor says I have good new and bad news .. The good news is .. you are going to live .. the bad news is .. you'll be a vegetable the rest of your life ...

Dorothy · #**575** 02-17-2009, 07:22 AM

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office with nothing on but saran wrap for underwear ..
The psychiatrist say ..
I clearly see your nuts ...

Bird Song Farm · #**576** 02-17-2009, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorothy

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office with nothing on but saran wrap for underwear ..
The psychiatrist say ..
I clearly see your nuts ...

Oh Lord, she's backkkkkkkkkk

Al

Dorothy · #**577** 02-17-2009, 08:50 AM

Des · #**578** 02-17-2009, 08:58 AM

Good to have you back, Dorothy I missed your sence of humor

GreggC · #**579** 02-17-2009, 09:08 AM

A dyslexic man walks into a bra..............

cb977 · #**580** 02-17-2009, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorothy

A carrot crosses the road, gets hit by a car and is rushed to the ER .. The doctor says I have good new and bad news .. The good news is .. you are going to live .. the bad news is .. you'll be a vegetable the rest of your life ...