The joke thread - Page 53 - Orchid Board

cb977 · #**521** 10-09-2008, 10:09 AM

Awwwww...Mom could've come up with a better answer than that

cb977 · #**522** 10-13-2008, 09:22 PM

Blonde in a Boat

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.

The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!"

cb977 · #**523** 10-13-2008, 09:25 PM

Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde.

The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

Sandy4453 · #**524** 10-13-2008, 09:53 PM

I LOVE IT

Des · #**525** 10-14-2008, 03:29 AM

Thanks Sue there is nothing like starting the day with a good laugh

camille1585 · #**526** 10-14-2008, 06:11 AM

That's one of the best clean blonde jokes I've heard!

cb977 · #**527** 10-18-2008, 11:19 AM

No offense to our seniors but this was too funny to not post here

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there''s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

Des · #**528** 10-18-2008, 11:49 AM

Oh dear ,not guilty of that one ,But I did spend 15 minutes hunting for my cell phone this morning only to find it in my top shirt pocket!!!and what makes it worse I was wearing the shirt!!!That must be a sure sign that I am well on my way to becoming an old fart!!
But if you ever see me driving down a oneway , please someone SHOOT ME!!

cb977 · #**529** 10-18-2008, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Des

Oh dear ,not guilty of that one ,But I did spend 15 minutes hunting for my cell phone this morning only to find it in my top shirt pocket!!!and what makes it worse I was wearing the shirt!!!That must be a sure sign that I am well on my way to becoming an old fart!!
But if you ever see me driving down a oneway , please someone SHOOT ME!!

Des, you're just too funny...and surely not an old fart!

Des · #**530** 10-18-2008, 12:16 PM

Sue Lol