The joke thread

[CodiMN]

[kavanaru]

Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

[Dorothy]

[shakkai]

I'll second that! I bet the people dining were

[Djarum Black]

HAHAHHA OMG! I got a good laugh out of that! Exactly what I needed this morning!

[kavanaru]

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties, and had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.


As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a
cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.


The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.


"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the
organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.


"Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"

[puddin]

Heard this at a show I went to.
One day, there was a 5th grade teacher with her class. One of them asked was the teacher would do if they all got an A.
She laughed and said if they all got an A, she would dance on the desk.
One boy spoke and said,
"I'll bring the pole!"

[CodiMN]

Originally Posted by kavanaru

Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Ha ha!

[flhiker]

A little estate planning.

Jeff was a single guy living at home with his father and working in
the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly
father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his
fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful
woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I
may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a
few years, my father will die,and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days
later,she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

[shakkai]

Dave, that's a great one!