The joke thread

[puddin]

Some made me smile. Most made me laugh. Love number 4! I'm still grinning over it.

[GreggC]

Carol and Donna were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat For Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it.
Donna, who figured this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of the pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Donna got upset and yelled, "You moron, Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos....it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
"Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing!...I'm going to buy it!!" So, she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos...it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" THe blonde replied...."Two popsicles and some coffee."

[cb977]

Thanks for my first chuckle of the day, Gregg

I know it's wrong to stereotype people but I just love blonde jokes

[GreggC]

Also, I wish that people would remember that we would get along much better with everyone if we learned to laugh at ourselves. I do all the time. If you laugh at yourself, people look at you like you are crazy. There is a better chance that they will speak to you and if you're mad, that they will leave you alone.

[snow]

a man walks into a psychiatrist.s office, wearing nothing but his underware made out of sarran wrap.
the psychiatrists says'' i can clearly see your nuts ''

[snow]

oops i hope that does not count for a dirty joke

[IdahoOrchid]

Originally Posted by snow

oops i hope that does not count for a dirty joke

Only if he hasn't showered!

[camille1585]

Great jokes!! Especially the blonde jokes! Amazingly, we have some of the exact same ones in France, but about Belgians!! (like the chain link fence one!) Here are some other belgian jokes

Two Belgians have been lost in the desert for several days (they think: what a nice beach!) They are dying of thirst.
The first belgian says: I know of a wonderful failproof way of not dying of thirst!
Belgian 2: Oh yeah, what is it?
Belgian 1: You have to suck on rocks
Belgian 2: Well that's no good, there's only sand here!
The belgians are silent, and continue their slow march across the burning desert.
Belgian 2: I know! Let's find a river!
Belgian 1: That's a good idea, there are always rocks at the bottom of rivers!


A Belgian is walking along the street when he sees a soda machine. Intrigued by what it could be, he goes up to it. "Now that's a weird thing, what is it for???" He decided to see what happens if he puts a coin in. He is amazed when he sees a soda can appear. So he puts in another coin, and is even more amazed when another soda can appears. He keeps on doing this again and again and again until a passerbyer asks him what the hell he is doing, wasting all his money like that. The Belgian answers
"As long as I am winning, I will keep playing!!"

Doesn't sound as good as in French.. Sorry they aren't as funny when translated into English!

[cb977]

A soda can slot machine! Priceless!!!

[IdahoOrchid]

The translation is just fine and probably just as funny.