Okay evil ones who make me buy things;
I broke down and bought three cork tubes (they arrived today).
The cork tubes I purchased (from the eBay link I posted before) do have natural holes in them - either small "worm holes" or areas where the cork is really thin. (I didn't need to drill to wire my orchid to it.)
I put a bulbo division on one and will add a tilly when it arrives (eBay is like crack for me). I also plan on packing the tube(s) with moss and keeping them moist and ensure higher humidity (hey, I *am* in Utah).
Haven't decided what to put on the other tubes yet . . . maybe I'll just have to buy another orchid or two.