A Clueless Newbie Says Hello.

[RomanHans]

I don't know why my sister thought I'd want orchids. Maybe because I have an artistic personality, if you know what I mean. Whatever her motivation, I now have a window full of Dendrobiums and something labelled "Brsdm Lillian Oka."

Now, these orchids were absolutely breathtaking when I got them, and I had high hopes. But the reality is, I can barely keep myself alive, let alone seven little plants. I lost one favorite orchid that was like a stalk with an alien's head atop it, but the rest are hanging on. In fact, I broke up Lillian into three separate pots, and they're all doing okay.

They're not even thinking about blooming, but they're doing okay.

I'm an idiot, and I don't take advice well. Like with my complexion: it's lousy, even in middle age, and folks told me I wasn't washing my face enough. Um, I'd reply, isn't forty times a day sufficient? Then they'd say I was overwashing.

Yeah, that's it: I'm either over- or underwashing my face. That's certainly a help.

Which means my orchids are pretty much doomed. I'm either over- or underwatering them, and I'll probably find out when I pull their crumpled little bodies out of their pots.

Honestly, I'd be a little more constructive if I thought it'd help. But I've got one miserable window in my apartment, facing west, and this being New York the temperature goes from zero degrees to a hundred. I can barely keep myself clothed, so I'm hardly going to cool my plants should they happen to get too warm.

So, somebody break it to me gently: should I just toss these things out? And tell sis that Trader Joe's gift certificates make wonderful gifts?

Anyway, nice to meet all of you, and thanks for listening to me ramble.

[quiltergal]

When I catch my breath from laughing my ass off I'll post an official welcome.

[cb977]

ROFL!!! Great intro!

If there's a way to save them, you'll find it here
Let's see what the others have to say

to Orchidboard

[Becca]

That was the best intro so far! I don't live in your area so I don't have much advice for you......but welcome aboard!

[Dorothy]

WELCOME!
Glad you can join us at OB

Save them - orchids are hardier than you think. You'll find out what you can do with them right here. There are so many that will guide you in the right direction.
Here is the Dendrobium care sheet from the OB site - http://www.orchidboard.com/Dendrobiu...ure-Care-Sheet
I offer that to you because I don't have any dendro experience I can give you ( I don't grow any .... yet )
I am on Long Island and grow in a western window and my orchids are doing great
You be able to utilize that little window if you get yourself a plant rack woohoo .. that means more orchids
Most, if not all, of us here are orchid enablers and will encourage you to seek out more of these marvelous little plants ( Oh did I just do that? )
Once bit by the orchid bug, once you have the epiphytic itch, there is no returning to the way life use to be. The only treatment is .. yes .. more orchids!
So forget about your complexion - wash your face as you like - and ask any questions that come to mind

[puddin]

Great intro! That is one of the best ones I've seen. As for the orchids, I live nowhere near you, so I can't help you on the temp. There is something you will have to decide. Do you want to take a lot of time taking care of them or not? You can grow them, even where you're at. I bet people would grow orchids in Alaska if they were really determined. If you really want to grow them, we'll help you find a way.
Lucky for you, the orchids you have store water, in case you forget to water them (like me). I'm reading a culture sheet I got, and it says a west window is fine. They need a 15 to 20 degrees difference from day to night, which you can supply. Can you show us some pictures? We love pictures on the OB!

[Ross]

Welcome! The Brsdm = Brassia x Oncidium. It's an "intergeneric" in the sense two genera are the parents. No! Don't toss them out! Yes it is possible, even for someone who calls themself "an idiot" (I hardly think that's the case!) to grow orchids, especially Brsdm. For now, the simple news is, keep it in the window in brightest light you have (it's not your fault if window faces wrong direction) and water couple times a week when it's growing - it's growing, right? and fertilize with a weak solution pretty often when it's growing - it's growing, right? When it matures the growth - it's growing, right? - then slack off fertilizer and water like weekly. Let us know what happens. If they all die, then do like we do - buy more!

[tuvoc]

Welcome aboard!! You've found the right place for any help and advice you may need, be it about orchids, personal hygiene, or anything else.
Enjoy!
By the way, Trader Joe's sells orchids too.

[Tindomul]

Welcome to the Orchid Board. I could have sworn I was reading a book penned by a pro while reading your intro. hehe. Nice work.
In NY with a window that doesn't get much light, I would stick them as close to the window as you can, in the winter don't let them touch the window, too cold! Water when dry. Mist daily. Especially any aerial roots. And pray to the anti-pest gods.

[RomanHans]

Thanks for the welcome, guys!

Okay, short orchid inventory: First and definitely best is my two-year-old dendrobium. It seems happy, and even bloomed last year. I'm either doing something truly impressive or horribly wrong: it's popped out probably twenty roots from its midsection, some seven inches long and sticking straight out. Looks very cool! It may be trying to tell me something but I am clueless as to what.

Here's a picture from last November. It's got probably twice as many roots now, but is definitely showing signs of age.



Lillian started in one pot, and now she's in three. (Please tell me it's not weird to name my orchid. "Lillian" is part of the species name, though, not something I made up, like Muffy or Beans.) Ross, you hit the nail on the head: she hasn't grown at all in a few years. In fact, I'd forgotten how cool her blooms are:



And then there are my four new dendrobiums I've already complained about.

They're all wedged in front of my 2'x3' frosted glass window, and I even got a gro-lite over them, set on a timer from 9 am to 8pm. I can't mist them, Tindo, because there are paintings on the walls nearby and various people get mad when they see fine art dripping.

Anyway, thanks again for the warm welcome!