well, here we are 7 months later... and a pseudobulb grew out on either side!
they are evidently not getting enough water as the new leaves are accordionned - one side has only one wrinkle, but the other side whose roots are stuck a little more out in the air has quite a few. i didn't catch this new growth in time, unfortunately.
i was going to repot it (re-wrap it?) to enclose the roots of the new growth, when i noticed an inflorescence on either side. i opted to wrap some moss around the "driest" side to aid in moisture retention, but otherwise leave it as is until the flowers die off.
any body have any idea how long it will take these stems to come to bloom? i still have no idea what plant this is... waiting for the flowers to tell me their names!