Sadistic Relationship with Orchids

[Maree]

I have to share a story. Everyday on my ride to work I admire some breathtaking orchids in someone's bay window. To make a long story short, my husband pulled some strings and knew someone who knew someone and Saturday I got to finally see the orchids up close and ask all my questions.
The flowers were enormous and beautiful and so worth the wait. Now, here's the kicker... the were soaked, sitting in water and the foliage pale yellow from sunburn. I asked about fertilizing and she smiled sheepishly and giggled, "it's here in the kitchen, but I never got around to open it".
She said she has been to a Botanical Show in NY and they tell her she has a sadistic relationship with her orchids. She said I do everything wrong and they have bloomed like this for years. She said what even worse, 3 months out of the year she takes them out of the southern window and puts them in her bedroom where they get the northern sun (not much here in PA) so her husband can put up his Christmas decorations.
I just was so surprised, here I thought she would tell me some well guarded secret and nothing. Well just wanted to share. I'd love to hear what you think

[myshka]

maybe over-pampering is the problem in some cases? perhaps neglecting some orchids is exactly what they need.

[jkofferdahl]

Yeah, you never know. I hear people talk about PPM of fertilizer components, using meters to measure light, hygrometers, misters, and all sorts of other nonsense to make sure that the conditions are perfect for their orchids. I use fertilizer when I remember, figure that between some lights and the window there should be enough light, fill humidity trays for the plants when I notice they're bone dry, and probably break any other number of rules. Some people talk to their plants, but when an orchid hasn't bloomed in a while I dangle it over my largest dog and tell the plant, "bloom or he will eat you." And yet I rarely have to resort to such threats, as they seem to do quite well. I'm happy with the flowers, and production, I get.

These are wild plants. They grow where they grow. We do our best, but they're still going to do whatever they want to do.

[Phantasm]

Such treatment works fine until one day it suddenly doesn't!

[King_of_orchid_growing:)]

I feel that there must be a balance of knowing when and how to "pamper" the orchids, and when to let them be.

One thing's for sure...they aren't little priss muffins.

[nhman]

Remember, that in the wild there are climatic variables that don't occur in culture.
Perhaps that element of benign neglect coupled with our focused attention is the best.
I nature.....".shusss....it happens"!
Maybe it should be so in our culture????

[seamonkey]

"priss muffins"

That is my new favourite phrase.

[playtime8978]

The only way I have got Phals to survive is to neglect them but not in bark, I cant seem to make phals happy in bark medium so I have moss and have well and truly neglected the little souls they get watered very infrequently and fed once a month or so I think and so far they're doing really well and actually have one in spike now and one i took to my moms that the poor devil doesn't know when to stop flowering, since I moved the one in spike down here to get more light and attention the spike has slowed right down, these seem the only ones I can neglect though others that have been treated this way I am currently trying to make happier as they obviously didnt appreciate some well meaning ( yes and planned) neglect. so I think it depends what your conditions are, what type of orchid and the medium used. I so wouldnt reccomend my way with phals but i was losing phals right left and centre to rot so thought well I will try ignoring them and see if I do any better.

[greenbean]

I love it! Everything from the lady with the sadistic orchid relationship, to threatening them with doggie snack-time, to "priss muffins"!!!

Honestly, I just try to give my orchids what I think they need when I can. If I'm too busy at the moment, they tough it out. I am pampering my new Neofinetia, Masdie, and Miltoniopsis with a humidifier, but that's because the humidity at my college is atrocious (yes, I mean atrocious! ). At home the humidity hardly ever drops below 50% except in winter, and then only in the dining room and kitchen where the woodstove is. Here, I'm lucky to keep it as high as 50%! That and the summer temperatures here are very high and my dorm room doesn't have AC, so my new cool growers are probably lucky to be alive. I shudder to think of winter, when all the moisture outside is frozen and inside it's being dried up by the heating system. I might put them in my little plastic terrarium then!

I know this sounds a little tree-hugger/hippie-dippie, but personally I think that orchid growers and gardeners in general have kind of a sixth sense about their plants. This instinct doesn't work for everyone for every plant, like those of us who can grow Phals but kill Oncidiums or vice versa . For those who want a less loopy explanation, we just have good observation skills and learn how to care for our plants by seeing the small details and signals and learning to properly interpret them. Whether that means ignoring them or pamering them varies, and as a few have already said, nature isn't consistent, so we don't have to be either!

[greenbean]

Sorry, that was way too long. I seem to be doing a lot of babbling lately. (sits back and makes that motorboat sound with my finger to my lips with a glazed expression)