Orchids Are Pansys!! AaronM Rants Again!!

[quiltingwacko]

I have some from Hausermann's. I have to look at a map. Illinois could be a ways from you there. Closer than some other places I could think of though. Carol

[susiep]

Aaron! Welcome back. We have missed you! I also wrapped my shade house in plastic for the recent cold snap, but luckily everything worked out ok. Have you been able to get some of your orchids to bloom? Keep us posted, ok? Try to join us on chat some evening. There are some characters there that you would enjoy talking to. hehe

[greenbean]

Ok, first the serious: Congratulations on quitting smoking, Aaron! And on behalf of asthmatics(and basically everyone else) everywhere, I'd like to give you a BIG

For those of you who haven't quit yet, I don't want to be judgemental, but you should keep in mind that you're not only shortening your own lives, but the lives of everyone around you. Please stop!


Now to get off my soapbox so I don't hurt myself falling over laughing.

Nothing beats a good rant, Aaron, and that was definitely a good one! All of my horror stories have to do with one orchid vendor and the local deer (not orchid related), but give me time. I'm just getting started after all...

And if you need to let off steam, go ahead! We can take it!

[lily99]

Congrats on quitting smoking and thanks for the good laugh. I wish my orchids would act more like The Real Housewives (love that show) and start to get competitive about their looks, as in "Pot Hoku Gem just bloomed, so maybe I should bloom too instead of sitting here for 3 years like a big green waste of space!"

[Leisurely]

Aaron, you are a terrific writer. You really have talent or education or both. You should enter the essay contest.

[orchideric]

In all seriousness, if you do cover a growing area and the temperature goes through the roof, let it cool down before opening it up. In this case, wait until well after sunset - like 2 in the morning. In a closed environment the plants are at a kind of equilibrium - the damage is done by dropping the humidity (and temperature) too rapidly. This causes a quick rush of moisture out of the plant tissue and thus the damage. It is hard to stop yourself from "fixing" the problem quickly.

Hope that helps, Eric

[AaronM]

Originally Posted by lily99

Congrats on quitting smoking and thanks for the good laugh. I wish my orchids would act more like The Real Housewives (love that show) and start to get competitive about their looks, as in "Pot Hoku Gem just bloomed, so maybe I should bloom too instead of sitting here for 3 years like a big green waste of space!"

If you want your orchids to be more like the "real housewives" have someone glue a couple fake daisies to the leaves, fill in all the wrinkles in the pseudobulbs with green paint and put them in tacky $1500 pots.
For those of you who have never seen the show its like a train that slammed into a bus full of nuns, you feel really sick and sad but you can't seem to look away.

As for my plants flowering, things are going better, check out my last entry in "What's Missing... Oh yeah, Flowers" for more news.

Thank-you all for the encouragement on the quitting. I find it strange that smoking is the only thing I've ever had trouble quitting in my life.

Aaron "Used To Smell Like a Butt" M

[AaronM]

Originally Posted by orchideric

In all seriousness, if you do cover a growing area and the temperature goes through the roof, let it cool down before opening it up. In this case, wait until well after sunset - like 2 in the morning. In a closed environment the plants are at a kind of equilibrium - the damage is done by dropping the humidity (and temperature) too rapidly. This causes a quick rush of moisture out of the plant tissue and thus the damage. It is hard to stop yourself from "fixing" the problem quickly.

Hope that helps, Eric

That would have been great info to have before I stripped off the plastic and misted them for ten minutes with cool water. This site really needs an emergency info page. With answers to questions like, "My toddler put my favorite Phal In the microwave. What do I do now.

Aaron "The Orchid Baker" M

[kiki-do]

I went to an orchid society meeting once and they were talking about smoking and touching orchids without washing your hands first. It's deadly for orchids. People who smoke and work in orchid greenhouses have been fired because they didn't wash good, and it's that bad for orchids. So now you have double the reason to hang in there and not smoke. (This is only what I've heard and I'm just passing it on).

[epiphyte78]

A good way to help weed out the pansies is to subject them to the elements. A little research selecting eurythermal orchids will help decrease the costs of this 'survival of the fittest' approach but eventually you'll end up with a yard full of orchids like Demi Moore in G.I. Jane...beautiful AND tough.