Something's missing...oh yeah FLOWERS! - Page 9 - Orchid Board

AaronM · #81 08-06-2008, 01:30 AM

O.K., either I'm not getting something here or the magic PPM calculator is broken. If a fertilizer with 20% Nitrogen equates to 264ppm at 1tsp/gal then shouldn't a fertilizer with 35% Phosphorus mixed at 1tsp/gal come out to more than 203ppm? 20%N=264ppm does not equate with 35%P=203ppm. I know that it has been maybe ten years since the third time I took chemistry 101 but I still remember the basic principles.
Wait, you know what, never mind. I swore for three semesters that "I will never use any of this stuff in real life". I also said the same thing during my seven semesters of college algebra (I'm not kidding, it took seven semesters to finally pass) so I would just as soon trust the magic ppm calculator and not lay waste to ten combined semesters of prophetic moaning.
So unless the answer has nothing to do with chemistry or algebra I will add this to the list of life's great mysteries (Why did the chicken cross the road?, Are finders really keepers? and of course; Why does anyone watch reality T.V.?).

Aaron "The Orchid Whisperer" M

AaronM · #82 08-06-2008, 01:41 AM

Don't worry Susiep, I don't feel anyone's being hard on me. No need to send pictures. I have a pretty good idea what they look like. But if you want to send me pictures of orchid flowers I could maybe print them out and glue them on little sticks attached to my orchids.
Wait, that gives me a great idea! I should buy some silk orchids and stick the flower stalks into my mounts and pots to make them look pretty until they flower. It would be like wearing a toupee until the Rogaine starts working! HA HA HA (that was heroic laughter), I am a genius!

Aaron "The Orchid Whisperer" M

Dorothy · #83 08-06-2008, 05:11 PM

Aaron - Aristotle once claimed that "there is no great genius without a mixture of madness".

Dorothy · #84 08-06-2008, 05:18 PM

Susie - Teasing on the OB is always laced with love

You can quote me on that one

shakkai · #85 08-06-2008, 05:39 PM

Aaron, I'm sure you will have blooms to spare in future - just make sure you post photos here! We all want to see them!

As for the fertilizer... I'll leave that to Ray, as I go for the simple and easy, and I try not to worry too much about it. Not a very popular approach with some, but, unless I need to address some specific problem in future, I'm happy with the results I'm getting not worrying about it!

AaronM · #86 08-07-2008, 12:04 AM

It has been said that I am prone to exaggeration. Which may be true. I have in fact had two out of my thirty orchids bloom since I first acquired them. One was my massive (55lb) Onc. ampliatum which was a huge let down. It produced five foot long spikes that took around three months to finally produced flowers that lasted about twenty-six minutes in total. The other one was that ugly thing in the second picture. This thing was like a blind date I once had. I was told all these great things beforehand and built up all these expectations and then "yecht"! Very nice but "yecht"!

Anyway, thanks everyone!

Aaron "The Orchid Whisperer" M

susiep · #87 08-07-2008, 12:29 AM

Aaron, you can't be calling your orchids ugly! If they hear you, they could develop all kinds of insecurities. Now you don't want that, do you? Haven't you ever heard of OFDM? (orchid flower dysmorphic disorder). However, I understand your disappointment. Here are pics of a couple of my underachievers. The first is the one and only flower this plant produced this time and it is lopsided. What's that about? Reminds me of when my daughter was 14 and wanted to shave one side of her head (hell, no!)

Then 2 of my palm tree vandas (never bloomed, probably never will). But I still love them (just not as much).

shakkai · #88 08-07-2008, 06:07 AM

Aaron, that first one, Onc. ampliatum, looks like you threw it in the bushes - no wonder it bloomed!!

sucuz · #89 08-07-2008, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shakkai

Aaron, that first one, Onc. ampliatum, looks like you threw it in the bushes - no wonder it bloomed!!

Obviously it Aaron needs to keep it in the bushes. Problem solved. Ugly you can't do much about unless you learn to tweak your appreciation meter a bit.

Ray · #90 08-07-2008, 04:07 PM

Newflasker - c'mon, the gallons to liters conversion is easy (Various Conversion Factors), but how can you do the conversion from volume (teaspoons) to mass (grams) without knowing the fertilizer bulk density? Here's a hint: Look on the label (for 125 ppm N, use 3.55g/gal).

Aaron - the reason that the percentages and ppm's look odd is because nitrogen is reported on the label as elemental nitrogen, while phosphorus and potassium are reported as oxides, P2O5 and K2O, and as those oxygens don't directly contribute to TDS, they are factored out.