Something's missing...oh yeah FLOWERS!

[isurus79]

Originally Posted by AaronM

isurus,
I think missann's Cat. must have been naughty and needs to be taught a lesson. She would probably prefer to beat the offending orchid with a phone book but can't because she is receiving weekly visits from the Department of Orchid Services. She doesn't want the agent from DoOS to see the marks. At least that's my theory.
While I feel bad for the poor pale little orchid this may do wonders for my ongoing study of orchid psychology.
Missann, please document your results for me so I can incorporate them into my studies. Also, if you really want to make that orchid suffer, get a tape of insect feeding sounds. That should really turn that plant into a catatonic wreck after two weeks. Sorry, I don't know where to get such a tape, but try ebay (they have evrything, even $10,000 orchids).

Aaron "The Orchid Whisperer" M

I see! Maybe Ill try that too..... I hate it when the DoOS shows up. It always means that I have to put another orchid on ebay and sell it for $10,000 to cover the legal fees!

[AaronM]

I am going to try the neglect thing... really... I mean it... no more mollycoddling...
Except the few that are still recovering from a year of pretty bad abuse. Oh, yeah and the couple I just repotted. And the ones I just mounted. And the little babies. And that one out front with all the yellowing leaves. And the two with keikeis starting, but that's it. The other two are getting neglected like the ninth of ten children.
I will continue to tell them all, daily, that "Daddy doesn't love you. No one will ever love you. You're ugly and have skinny, knobby roots and tiny pseudobulbs. Why can't you be more like your sister? It's almost cute how worthless you are."
I think that in a few months all my orchids will either be flowering or hopelessly addicted to plastic surgery and/or tattoos and piercings.
It's a really great thing that my wife and I feel no urge to reproduce!

Aaron "The Orchid Whisperer" M

[susiep]

Aaron, were you dropped on your head as a baby?

[Bird Song Farm]

Aaron, I swear if I was offered the chance to meet and get to know just one person on this earth it would be you!

Thanks for making all of us smile, chuckle and, yes, even guffaw.

Al

[shakkai]

Aaron, If this idea really catches on, I can see a future career for me being a 'chid psychologist - helping all of those abused 'chids overcome their feelings of inadequacy !!

Thanks for the laughs! I love your posts.

[AaronM]

Originally Posted by susiep

Aaron, were you dropped on your head as a baby?

I don't remember being dropped on my head as a baby. I remember multiple head traumas as a child and teen but not as a baby. In fact I don't remember being a baby at all.... Wait, I think that's proof that I was dropped on my head. The rest of my family remembers me being a baby, but not me.
That's it! I'm calling Mom right now and demand the truth! Oh, to think that the family could keep such a hideous secret from me for all these years. Oh, the lost memories! Someone is going to pay for this. I bet it was one of my brothers and I think I know which one. He never did like me much (just because I'm smarter and funnier and better looking and taller and kinder and more modest).

Thank-you susiep for bringing this terrible crime to light.

Oh, and Al, if you send me a Stanophea nigroviolacea I'll be your pen pal forever and I'll write letters from my dog to your dog too!

Aaron "The Orchid Whisperer" M

[susiep]

I am glad we got to the bottom of that! Do you feel better now? Perhaps this would be a good time to address your avatar, hmmm? Still the fish head?

[AaronM]

Is that better susiep? Are you happy now that my shame is revealed to all?
I would love to have some beautiful and exotic orchid as my avatar but as we've been discussing for several days now, I have no flowers to take pictures of.

Aaron "The Orchid Whisperer" M

[susiep]

Well, I do apologize for that. It was quite rude and I didn't mean it. Sorry. But on that avatar that you had up for about 10 mins .... what were you doing with that fish head?? I do like your palm tree orchid plant. I have one just like it.

[Bird Song Farm]

Originally Posted by AaronM

Oh, and Al, if you send me a Stanophea nigroviolacea I'll be your pen pal forever and I'll write letters from my dog to your dog too!
Aaron "The Orchid Whisperer" M

Oh, I see, blackmail huh? And as if that isn't bad enough you want to bring our poor innocent dogs into it. Well, I can go for that!

I'm off to find that what-ca-ma-call it plant.
Al
[EDIT] Don't we all have a palm tree orchid? I have two!